It happened when I was waiting for a boat. The ferry was supposed to take me across the Dulce Gulf in Costa Rica, from Puerto Jimenez to the sleepy mainland town of Golfito, but it had been delayed — fortunately, I had taken this ferry once before and knew how this particular game was played. I sat on the dock with my backpack between my feet, watching as a bubbly baby girl teetered up and down the wood platform, her mother crouching right behind her with arms outstretched. The babygirl was all smiles, and the entire dockside was delighted by the young girl’s antics. I don’t speak Spanish, but I turned my head to dip into the crowd’s well of communal amusement anyways. That’s when we saw each other.
There wasn’t any doubt that she and I were the only two people on the dock who spoke English. This young woman just happened to be sitting behind me, so I cracked a smile, shrugged a shoulder and idly commented “Cute, right?” as if lovely baby entertainment such as this happened every day.
The adult human (note: not the child), who jumped into the seat beside me, squealed “I know!” in genuine agreement, and from there she — Nikki — and I dissolved into a conversation that spanned the rest of our time on the dock, the line to finally buy tickets, the entire thirty-minute speedboat ride and then a quarter-hour on the dock after we arrived in Golfito. In that short time, we chatted about boyfriends and break-ups, our paths of travel thus far and where we hoped our paths might take us. After this, we then touched upon the idea of ‘family’ and the possibility of disappointing our parents with our decisions to move away from home.
It was dreadfully hot on that baking sidewalk, so I left her with the address of my hostel that night just in case she missed the 3:00 return boat to the port. We exchanged friend request and went on our way. From time to time, we’ll throw each other a ‘like’ whenever we come across the other’s content all the way from across the globe, and every time, it makes me smile.
Solo travel presents travelers with an interesting dichotomy. On one hand, you’re going to spend more time with yourself than you ever thought possible. On the other hand, when moving around on your own, people are generally much more open to coalescing with their fellow travelers and openly desirous of meeting the many different personalities around the world. Fortunately, you don’t need to find yourself on a dock in Costa Rica in order to meet a new friend. In fact, it doesn’t matter what corner of the world that you find yourself in, because there are a three keys to making new friends that translate into any language.
Get To Know The Locals
This comes more easily to some than to others, but being able to strike up a conversation with a person wildly different from yourself is a value skill for solo travelers. It’s simply chance who you sit next to in that coffee shop or on the park bench, but I guarantee you, if you seize the opportunities in front of you, you will find that each person has an interesting story to tell; one that’s just as vivid, detailed and emotionally riveting as your own, without a doubt. If this person is a local, then you just happened upon an oh-so-valuable additional opportunity to learn about a land’s culture straight from the source! There’s so much that is still untapped when it comes to seeing a place through the wide-open eyes of its people, but always remember to be safe and follow your intuition.
It’s a nice gesture to speak (or at least attempt) the local lexicon, but you’ll find that people, more often than not, are welcoming to all travelers and eager to share whatever small part of their culture they can. Just remember that locals are friends, not free tour guides, and your authenticity and goodwill will be returned triple-fold. Karma win!
Get To Know Yourself
People who practice yoga will be familiar with this one: to expand outwards, one must turn inwards. By establishing confidence and self-assuredness from within, you begin to attract people with similar goals, desires and paths. This is something that solo travel offers more than anything else: the ability to get to know yourself and learn your shortcomings so that you can find ways to be the master them. At the same time, when traveling or moving to a new area, you cannot help but develop an unending belief in yourself that stems all from your collective trials, errors, successes and loses. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the friend of a person like that?
Take advantage of this free time to do the things that your soul, your inner child, purely loves. This is the other perk of solo travel: you get to do absolutely whatever you want! Once you feel what it’s like to truly follow your whims (I promise, they’re not entirely random), this freedom becomes almost addicting — and it pays off, too. While you’re pursuing the things that speaks to your soul, you’ll be amazed at who you might encounter on the way. Now, with all the confidence of a person who is far from their established home, kindly refer back to section one: ‘Get To Know The Locals.’
Utilize Your Options
Though public third places, such a bars and coffee shops, still are some of the best venues in which to meet people, they’re not for everyone. Thankfully, they’re no longer the only option for people who like to travel solo, but don’t want to isolate themselves. For some travelers, the perfect solutions are travel retreats. Retreats draw guests from around the world for a common purpose, from wellness to fitness to spirituality, in destinations destinations across the world. Some are women’s-only, or exclusively for parents, or specially designed for people who have eating preferences, such as veganism. There are as many retreats available as there are passions in the world, so once you identify yours, pick host with a size and mission that speaks to you and get excited about your new, worldwide connections.
Social media and apps certainly also serve a huge role. Social media was created to keep you in contact with all the people you’ve already met, but many can also introduce you to people whom you haven’t met yet. Facebook, for example, has countless different facebook groups dedicated to residents and expats residing in most cities, large and small. Do a quick search — you’ll never know what you’ll find! Couchsurfing, the staple for backpackers who need a place to crash, has a similar dual-use. Alternatively, there are apps created just for solo travelers and nomads to connect. No matter what, there’s always an app to suit your friend-finding purpose, but you’ll never know until you try.
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Do I consider Nikki, the young woman from the ferry, to be my friend? Of course I do. Though I only knew her face-to-face for merely an hour and a half, as travelers know, you must be grateful for what you get. For that short time, another human and I were able to connect and share an authentic piece of ourselves with one another, and that has inherent value. That’s often what it comes down to, when meeting new people: confidence, openness and a willingness to be vulnerable. I’ve found that these are exceptionally effective methods of winning people over and welcoming new friendships, almost universally. Give it a try, and see what you’re missing!
