Union — Two becoming one.
Synthesizing what is separate into a whole.
The end that justifies the means.
When mortal constituents come together to make something that is far greater, even divine.
Wait, we’re talking about babies, right?
Well, yes and no. We’re actually talking about yoga. The definition of yoga, in ancient and holy Sanskrit, is ‘to yoke.’ To bring together. To unionize. This concept exists on all scales, from soul to mind to body (yoga), from parent to child (motherhood), and from the earthbound to whatever exists beyond (breath).
What we’re doing here, is bringing together these three elements (yoga, breath, motherhood) to redefine the expectations we maintain for our lives after children enter the picture — specifically that first tumultuous postpartum year — to find more satisfaction in that beautiful, raw, baptism-by-fire transition from maiden to mother.
Thankfully, our value as mothers is not defined by how self-sacrificial we are, because there are many, many unique obstacles women face when learning how to become a mother — it’s a kaleidoscope of different interpersonal situations, cultural norms, familial traditions, personal expectations, and unique baby behaviors that come together to create a situation that is totally and wholly your own… for better, or for worse.
When I first gave birth, I didn’t practice yoga for 3 months. Then I did one class… and didn’t touch it again for 2 more months. It wasn’t until I was in the deepest depths of my postpartum depression that I realized yoga is the perfect path back to happiness and fulfillment.
Through practicing yoga, we can break free from the chains of our karma and parent from a place of total alignment and intuition.
Mind, body, spirit. The universe and the individual being. Mother and child.
This is what yoga serves to teach us.
Reality can be a bummer, despite all of our knowledge and carefully laid plans. There never seems to be as much time as you need. Routine and schedules are all but thrown out the window. Your partner might not be able to access their maternal or paternal instinct as you can. It’s a part of the divine feminine to give, but when imbalanced, we give ourselves endlessly to others — and so often, in early motherhood, we don’t have endless stores of energy to pull from. This time, more than most, women are often left feeling undervalued and totally depleted.
In the yoga sutras, a two-thousand-year-old text that outlines the ancient principles of yoga, the very first line explains how yoga is starting something new. Change is happening. Meaning that yoga is both the path, as well as the goal. We achieve yoga only by doing yoga — it’s the first step on the path of a whole new perspective. Once yoga is started, your life can’t help but adapt. After the secrets of yoga and meditation are revealed, nothing is ever the same.
Another change causes a similar shift in thinking and perspective: when one becomes a mother.
After one becomes a mother — or loves like a mother — nothing is ever the same as it was before. Motherhood not only strongly encourages us to be different (in ways outside of our control), but it gives us the power to voluntarily see ordinary things in a new light. Motherhood is a beautiful chance to rework our goals in life. We learn to thrive in a new type of ‘rest’ that we never knew existed before. We become more adaptable because our values and goals are broader, more generalized, and less tied to one specific outcome.
Most mothers don’t need a 45-minute power workout class to ‘get their body back.’ They don’t need several hours alone in a room (although this would be nice, at times!) to ‘escape’ from the responsibilities of parenthood.
Or, maybe you do — but what I have found to be the case more often is that mothers don’t want less time with their families. We want to connect with their family more meaningfully.
We want to be more present in every moment, to put more moments into their hours, and more hours into their day.
We want to find bliss in motherhood while they are actually in it, not only when we can escape or when they look in hindsight.
We don’t want to do yoga just to exercise, we are moving towards an intention.
We want to be in tune with their heart space now more than ever, so that we can do all things with love. Even the things that feel like they are without love.
We want to be more adaptable and open to change when it happens, as unexpected change it is inevitable.
We want to heal and solve life’s hiccups not through another expensive baby item or harmful validation from a forum full of other suffering souls, but by learning to trust ourselves and honing in on what is truly our priority.
We want to learn how to make themselves a priority, while also not feeling like doing so puts their child in ‘second place.’
Yoga is here to help us break free from the ties that bind us to a reality of suffering. We needn’t plow through what has the potential to be the most beautiful and fulfilling experience — but only if we train our minds enough to cut through the clutter created by our modern world.
If feeling whole and valued through all the highs and lows of motherhood is what you desire, then what is a far more powerful action than feeling guilt is doing something about the source issue.
- We can be realistic with our expectations of time, and be cognizant and proactive in how we use that time. Let’s cut through what doesn’t apply to motherhood and get right to the heart of what we need!
- We can learn the power of channeling prana (energy) and intention, all while paying attention to signs and synchronicities, to manifest our heart’s desires, for ourselves and our families.
- We can take care of our bodies so that they are a willing and able accessory on our path to bliss and wholeness, rather than a hindrance and cause of discomfort.
- We can honor our place amongst nature and learn how to use seasons, cycles and other ayurvedic elements to cleanse our bodies and minds
- We can harness the power of a village, understanding that this is truly the only way to gain more than 24 hours in a day.
- We can balance our masculine and feminine tendencies to connect with our divine intuition and follow the guidance of the universe within us.
- We can find surrender for what we can’t change and let go of perfection
- We can consult with ancient texts and wisdom for timeless, tried-and-true tactics and solutions to life’s biggest questions.
All of this, yoga shares with us.
Yoga is the art of becoming — the art of change.
Not only change in our bodies, but change in our mind. our understanding. our goals our identity. our ego. our roles. our preferences. our relationships. our sense of self-worth. our ability to transcend everyday suffering.
As yoginis, we commit to removing these labels to understand that we are something far more than any of these.
Especially in those early days, motherhood can feel like the death of who we are, or that our wants and needs have been erased; or, at least, greatly overshadowed.
As yoginis, we commit to using intuitive yoga and mindful breathing to go deep inside ourselves, to glimpse our own inherent value. We glimpse to see that we are not only still whole, but we have changed — and that we will always be changing, for as long as we are alive.
Even when we are sabotaged by a paradigm of what and who the perfect mother should be on all fronts,
As yoginis, we commit to measuring our success in presence and compassion — it’s a life hack that ensures we always win. and it works.
It works because guilt and shame exist only where there is comparison.
As yoginis, we commit to exploring our guilt and shame, to do the shadow work to move through comparison towards compassion.
It’s easy to get lost in the repetitive days of motherhood, and endless night, and short nap cycles, totally unsure what day it is or what we did yesterday type of days —
As yoginis, we commit to self-care and finding paradise in everyday life, seeking beauty in the ordinary and the routine, and making sure that we are livingly intentionally and slowly enough to appreciate and savor every delicious moment that we are given.
As humans, we’re far from perfect and we come into every situation carrying the burden of our past experiences and traumas, as well as fear of the future.
As yoginis, we commit to understanding our mental and emotional tendencies so that we can make cognizant, informed decisions about our energy and make space for how we wish to experience our life.
We live, work, love, and play in a masculine-dominant world. Masculinity is important and has its place, but couldn’t the world do with a little more of mother’s unconditional love?
As yoginis, we commit to balancing our divine masculine and divine feminine, calling forth magic that can (and will) accelerate your life in the direction of all of your wildest dreams (and I’m not even kidding!)
Accessing our intuition is key, but…
As yoginis, we commit to learning about those wise women and cultures that came before us, and to honor their time-tested techniques to find happiness and the meaning of life
As yoginis, we realize that the ultimate goal of yoga cannot be willing. Rather, it happens spontaneously, but yoga acts as the fertilizer, ensuring we are ready to catch this spark and make it grow.
What does all of this mean to the new mother, who is short on time and patience?
It means everything.
Yoga is giving ourselves permission to change, and about know that it is okay to feel happiness, perhaps even as an act of rebellion against all those institutions which profit off of us feeling lousy.
We can reframe the narrative that we were spoon-fed since birth: that motherhood is all suffering and sacrifice, and if you give yourself any focus, then you are somehow a bad mom. In reality, to be the mothers our children need us to me, we must listen to our hearts and souls (and doctors) — but nothing more.
Yoga makes magic accessible, and we need nothing more than our bodies to reach out and grab it. And there’s even better news: if you don’t have a body that works the way you want it to, all you really need is your breath.
Magic. Body. Breath. Union.
Yoga.
